Week 1

I must admit I'm slightly afraid of this new journey. Twenty-two years ago I dropped out of college to pursue an insurance career. For several years leading up to the decision I worked part time selling insurance while still attending classes.  However, after two attempts and two rejection letters from the Marriott School of Management at BYU, I started on an adventure motivated to prove to myself and others that I didn't need a degree to be successful. I dropped out of school and focused entirely on building my insurance book of business.  Four kids and a divorce later I'm now ready to rejoin the path I left so many years ago.  This time, however, my motivation is for personal growth and development. I don't need a degree to advance my career or achieve some lofty position. I've succeeded in my business beyond my wildest expectation. I now want to become a finely tuned instrument the Lord can use to further His work and glory.

I'm fully aware that my writing, grammar and spelling skills have weakened to the point of embarrassment.  I've spent most of the last two decades communicating in person, by phone and with pithy emails to my cliental.  My written communication needs a lot of help. In fact, this is probably the main reason I haven't returned to school any sooner. But, alas, I will press forward trusting the Lord when he promises to make "weak things strong unto them." (Ether 12:27) Thankfully, according to Jeff Sandefer's recommendation for this journal, I am to "just write" and not to stress about the literacy.  So here goes nothing.  

For the last two years I've kept a daily personal journal recording in detail the hardships, triumphs, pain, and lessons learned as I struggled through my divorce and life thereafter. That journal has truly become a treasure to me. Each day before I write, I read the previous year's entry for that day. This  helps to remind me of how far I've come yet also serves as reminder of how much more I still need to do.  Hopefully, as I begin this journal I will have a similar experience.  I will focus herein on my struggles returning to school, the lessons learned from it and set goals to become the instrument mentioned above. 

As I read through Elder Bedner talk, "Your Whole Souls an Offer Unto Him," I couldn't help  but recognize the student he described as one that desired the "academic path of least resistance."  That was me as younger student. I played more than I studied.  I looked for the easiest most simple route to the finish line. I now know so much better.  This go around I want to learn the lessons for knowledge sake. I want to learn for growth and development in mind and soul.  Whereas previously I'd give up at the first sign of resistance I now want to press forward thirsting after light and knowledge.  Elder Bender likened this desire to using our mighty heart and having a strong mind.  That I can do. Such perseverance was required in my marriage and to end it as well. 

I’m ready to dream big. To become that instrument the Lord can use at anytime, anywhere and for any purpose. Will there be set backs, failures, obstacles, and pain along the way? Of course, I have already had plenty and expect even more. Trials are simply tools used to create the patience, character, and knowledge necessary for progression. I know in the end our reward is worth any sacrifice asked of us. I’m willing to consecrate everything to help build the Kingdom. 







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